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Small Cabin Forum / General Forum / Am I the Only woman who wants to live at the cabn full time? Hubby thinks im crazy........
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smitty
Member
# Posted: 14 Apr 2011 14:10
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We plan on living in ours full time when it's finished.
The wife and kids (all girls) are into it as much as I am. In fact, I'm probably more nervous about it as they are.. They aren't worried about bears and coyotes and bob cats.. I sure am.
So there. That's 3 girls and 1 boyish man all wanting to live full time in a cabin. You are not the only one.
Lot's of people have the same dream..

holyoak2
Member
# Posted: 19 Apr 2011 17:23
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We have had some bear problems, but have learned to deal with them. I have 4 kids and 5 grandkids and they all love the cabin. The wife and I almost have to sneak up there to be alone at times.

cabingal3
Member
# Posted: 20 Apr 2011 23:27
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i sometimes dream of just driving down the road and getting to my woods.Being out there the whole summer.Probably the first ten minutes i would shoot myself thinking i heard a mt.lion.
I would love to be out there this summer and cleaning up the place.writing a journal of my adventure.writing of being scared and trying to do things with out gar.
i remember once i tried to build a shelf in my boys closet cause they needed more shelfing.i was so proud.Gar came home and i put shoes on the shelf to show him i built this myself.The shelf fell.Now though i have more skills.no kids to hang onto me but...i would miss the greatest part.no mister being there with me.so i stay put.one day...as long as we are working toward it.So far i really did not think we would have done this much .so i am happy with our progress.

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 20 Apr 2011 23:44
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Sounds nice Cabi............ dreams do come true ya know..... dont stop dreamin.

cabingal3
Member
# Posted: 21 Apr 2011 11:29
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Quoting: naturelover66
Sounds nice Cabi............ dreams do come true ya know..... dont stop dreamin.

thanks gal.i never will .u keep your eye on the mark and it will happen.i know gar is doing all he can to get us out there.what a good guy!

Tim
Member
# Posted: 2 Dec 2011 22:40
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Quoting: naturelover66
Am i crazy thinking about moving to our newly purchased cabin full time ??


lol....That is exactly what we are going to do! Please go and read my blog and build diary here:

URL

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 2 Dec 2011 22:53
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I think about living there constantly.... hopefully within the next year or two....i will be livin the dream.

Malamute
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 01:10 - Edited by: Malamute
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Interesting topic. I say go for it when you can, and no, you aren't crazy for wanting to live in your cabin.

I live in mine full time, but haven't met a woman that wants to live in a cabin, even a fairly civilized cabin. Wish there were more women that wanted to live in a cabin.

Martian
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 08:52 - Edited by: Martian
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Having read thru this thread, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a very selfish person. After watching my father die at 65 when I was 22, the decision was made to live however I wanted. "Life is full of uncertainties; eat your desert first!"; that was my motto. Now I'm 61 and have done many things over the past 40years, but it all has come at a price. Marriages have ended, families were not started, jobs were left; all in the pursuit of what I wanted to do at the time. So, I lived on my little sailboat and cruised around meeting interesting people and enjoying a variety of livelyhoods and lifestyles. Ten years ago, I found the place I want to be when my time is up. Its no where near the water, but has the openness of the ocean.

I guess what I want to express is that we can all do what we want to do if we want it bad enough. Every time we make a decision to do something, we are also making the decision to not do something else; whether we realize it or not. Life becomes a lot easier when you accept that. Don't frustrate yourself by wishing you were doing something different than what you are. Unless you are willing to pay the price of doing what you think you want to do , accept what you have decided to do and enjoy doing it. Frustration kills!

Tom

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 12:24
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I guess for me its about finding the courage... When I do I will let you know. Ive been working hard and taking care of ppl for 25 years. Its hard to snap out of that . But, the kids are grown and the husband has always been selfish too... So, yeah.. Maybe its my turn to finally be happy. Maybe in the spring. I still have alot of living to do.

Martian
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 14:42
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Inertia is powerful force. We get into our comfort zone, and it takes a lot of energy to overcome that inertia. When there is more than one body involved, it takes a lot more energy especially if one of them wants to stay at rest.

And there is the guilt to be dealt with. I know when I first decided to chuck it all and go sailing, it was 6 months before I got over the guilt of having taken this path.

Don't make a decision lightly; some bridges get burned when you act selfishly, but of those, many will be rebuilt when they see how happy you are. A friend of mine used to say he could tell how well he was living his life the way he wanted by the number of people that thought he was an SOB. Those that love you will always love you. Those that want to take something from you will write you off when they find out you are putting your needs/wants ahead of theirs.

A doctor friend once asked me what I'd do if I got sick since health insurance was something I couldn't afford. My answer was that, if I got sick enough, I'd die, but unless he could guarantee that, with health insurance, I wouldn't die, then I wasn't willing to give up my dream. Everyone is not cutout to accept the cost of jumping-off-the-cliff; so to speak. Think long and hard before making a firm decision, but once you've made it, which ever way you decide, get the ball rolling 'cause times a wastin'.

Please don't think I'm preaching to you; that's not my intent. Its just that I've "Been there; Done that" and had a lot of time to think about it since.

Tom

trollbridge
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 14:43 - Edited by: trollbridge
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naturelover66...I will be so happy for you when you finally get to follow your heart and move to your happy place!

I don't think your nuts at all for wanting to live at your cabin full time and I think there are very many woman that given the opportunity to live a simpler life would pounce at the chance!!

I would be very happy living in our cabin year round if I could just move all my grown kids and grandkids close by. Also we have 3 kids still at home, the youngest just 8 years old.Unfortunately we would still need to earn a living too-that isn't fun. Actually even though I am sad every time we leave our cabin I am content to be there when we can be...If the economy would improve we could maybe even take some time off to so we could enjoy longer stretches of time instead of just weekends. I would love that!

I do feel it is important to find the right balance and to find contentment in life-everyone is happier when they are feeling content!

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 14:59
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Tom... Thanks... I do appreciate the friendly advise.

trollbridge
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 15:03
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Martian...I enjoyed reading your last couple post. It is hard going against the grain isn't it? Many people think they know what is best for you or can't understand your feelings. Having 9 kids was easy for us cause we both wanted a large family-having 9 kids was not so easy for others to accept. Now they see that they are beautiful people who are more than willing to be a good friend and help anybody in need. They are responsible for themselves and contributing members of society.We are very proud of them and proud of ourselves too. We were married young(19 and 18) and had our first child 10 months later. I love being a mom and I love being a grandma. I feel very fortunate to get to take care of my grandchildren while their parents are at work. I love the closeness I feel towards them. Are there other dreams to follow? Yes for sure, and hopefully when the timing is right we will be able to fulfill. them. I have been guilty of holding back on those out of fear. It really is hard to take the big leap sometimes isn't it?

hattie
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 15:21
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I decided that I wasn't going to choose where I lived, based on where my children and other family members live. Over their lives they will move away for jobs or whatever and they shouldn't feel guilty for moving just because I live close by.

In my life, I have decided to plant my roots here, at our cabin, and the kids and grandkids and our friends can come to us here (and we can take vacations to visit them). I kind of look at our place as the "family base camp". If there is an emergency, or anything goes wrong, this is the place they should come and they are always welcomed here with open arms. Sure we don't see each other all the time, but there is the internet and the telephone for that. Life is just too short. I have never, for one nano-second regretted our decision to move here full time.

Quoting: Martian
A friend of mine used to say he could tell how well he was living his life the way he wanted by the number of people that thought he was an SOB. Those that love you will always love you. Those that want to take something from you will write you off when they find out you are putting your needs/wants ahead of theirs.


This is so very true!!!!

Martian
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 15:28 - Edited by: Martian
Reply 


Naturelover, if anything I say helps you reach your happy place, then I've spent my time wisely. You're welcome.

Hattie, sounds like you've got the best of all worlds.

Thanks, TB. Its raining; I'm baking bread and feeling philosophical. As the song says, "I love a rainy day!"

Tom

trollbridge
Member
# Posted: 3 Dec 2011 17:57
Reply 


Tom, your rain is our snow up here in Wisconsin! It is a good night to hunker in.

Hattie, I agree that kids are going to move away possibly for jobs and other reasons but for the moment I enjoy having my kids and grandkids close by. Only one daughter is far away(31/2 hours-not too far even) she may or may not ever move back closer but it would be her decision to do so. We are fortunate to live in a smaller size town but one has to take work where one can get it. Both of our families were 11/2 hours away and then my folks moved to Florida when they retired. They had a great time but it did change the relationship my kids had with them. They thought we would all come visit once a year over winter break and they would come see us once a year but who was to say we wanted to spend every vacation in Florida or that we would even have a vacation at all for that matter. I always thought it was cool the kids around our town who routinely got to see their grandparents-it would be very difficult for me to ever give that up. Right now it isn't anything I would consider since I still have kids in school but who knows what may happen in the future?

silverwaterlady
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 10:05
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Lucky my husband loves the cabin as much as I do. If he didn't he would be missing me.

trollbridge
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 10:36
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I'm lucky that way too!!

Anonymous
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 10:51
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naturelover66,did you make improvements to you cabin since you purchased it? Heat and running water? If not,maybe that is the reason your husband does not want to more into the cabin?

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 17:43
Reply 


We have heat and water... Appliances, beautiful floors and a nice new bathroom. Its comfortable and liveable. Big town 15 minutes away. He feels its his way or no way. He works a.seasonal job...never cares about money ... Obviously this is bigger than where we live. We hsve issues he wont address... Hes content staring at.the tv...and all I do is worry.. It could.be alot worse.... I just see living at the cabin a way to solve most of our problems. I had a job offer in june ten minutes from the cabin at a hospital. I applied for the hell of it and they called me. great pay and great benefits.I went and he sent our grown kids up to talk me into coming home. They made me feel so guilty.... Ofcourse I came home. Anyway.. I guess when I can overcome or deal with the guilt.. Maybe I will move.

trollbridge
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 21:24
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wow, how far is your cabin from where you live now?
Your husband sounds quite stubborn and has he ever told you specifically why he does not want to move???? Sounds like a tough situation. I am really curious what his reasons are and if he really doesn't have any solid reasons than he seems selfish to me. On the other hand, the things that cause you to worry,are they really going to go away because you move to the cabin? Sounds like some honest reflection and discussion is needed. I hope you find your answers.

naturelover66
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 21:58
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3.5 hours and our cost of living is about 4 times that here in the burbs of detroit. Its financial for me... The stress. And I have thousands in medical bills after.my heart surgery. He doesnt care... He is comfortable here...letting me work even though I have health problems and.he works only half the year. I have to just be strong and do what I have to do when the time is riight.

larry
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 22:25 - Edited by: larry
Reply 


it sounds to me like the hubby is crazy. if you have a dream and he doesn't share it with you then shame on him. life waits for no one and neither should you. if he loves you he will follow. I'm guessing he rather watch TV and work only half the year ridding your coat tails for the rest of the year. you have been given a second chance, don't waste it!

Martian
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 22:58
Reply 


Naturelover, you say this is about finances. Might I suggest that you start cutting back; on like cable TV. Maybe that'll get his attention, and you guys can come to some conclusion. I know what resentment will do to a relationship; so do you. You know where its going to lead. Unless you capitulate and give up your dream, one of two things will happen: Either you'll pursue your dream or you'll be consumed with anger.

Quoting: naturelover66
He doesnt care

If he doesn't care about your needs, why should you care about his? Take charge of your life. Let him take care of his own needs.

Tom

hattie
Member
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 23:11
Reply 


naturelover66....My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this very difficult time, with very difficult decisions to make. Whatever your path ends up being, just know that you have a small cabin family here who cares about you.

Anonymous
# Posted: 4 Dec 2011 23:25
Reply 


There are two sides to every story and I really think everybody needs to go back to the beginning of this thread and read through it.
Where are the photos of the cabin improvements? I don't think they were done due to lack of funds. I thought your heart problems bought the two of you closer and your Husband was a wonderful man? Something is very wrong here and it is not just with the husband.

turkeyhunter
Member
# Posted: 5 Dec 2011 21:00
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anonymous----if you don's have something postive OR nice to say..................hmmmmmmm.....don't.......very simple.

Anonymous
# Posted: 5 Dec 2011 22:11
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This forum is not a place to trash spouses or lie to other people. I come here to learn about building cabins. And if people are having problems in their marriages they need to get professional help and not rely on advise from people that don't know the other side of the story.

Hick
Member
# Posted: 5 Dec 2011 23:20
Reply 


Naturelover66... My wife would love to live at our cabin year round. It's funny because I thought she was a city girl when I met her in England.

The one problem that we would have is the snow. The winter is very harsh with -40 temps in the winter. The main road is 7 miles away and the closest town is 27 miles.

Northern Michigan must get the moisture off the lakes and loads of snow. How would you deal with the snow getting in and out for supplies? The fact that you are close to town is an added bonus.

Keep the faith in your dreams and best of luck.

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