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Small Cabin Forum / Off Topic / Suspicion is the new neighborly?
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rmak
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 10:49 - Edited by: rmak
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This is not cabin specific, but has to do with something we are losing today.

We live in a semi-rural area in an old farm house. We used to know all of our neighbors, about half who were farmers. There have been about 20 new houses built on our road in the last 20 years.

I used to know most folks on the road, but over the years I have not kept up with the moving in and out of most. I have friendly relations with people about five houses down each way.

The properties three houses down on each side of us had recently sold to new owners. Since I'm off work in the summers and walk and bike often and am mostly outside, when I saw the new owners of each place moving in and sprucing up the yard I stopped by to say hello, introduce myself and welcome them to the area.

In both cases I was greeted with a weird stand-offishness. In neither case were the new people at all friendly or happy to meet me. The only thing one lady wanted to say was I startled her and she couldn't figure out who was in her yard. The guy on the other side answered with curt yes and no's. He jumped back into his house, shut the door and I heard him and someone else laughing, probably about me. Rude!

In both cases I walked away feeling like I had done something wrong.

These were both young people. I wonder if that's the norm for people now. Are people just used to not interacting with the people who live around them?

Sorry to rant on about this, but things have changed.

littlehouseontheprarie
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 11:01
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I understand your feelings on this.I am amazed at how people do
not interact anymore.When I first bought our house I would go out and smoke a few briskets and invite the neighborhood over for a potluck.As the years have gone by and my elderly neighbors have died off.Younger hipsters have moved in.Now when I cookout and invite the neighborhood over only a few show up.
I live in a small town of 700 people and 5 years ago I knew at least 600 of these people by name.Now my little town has become a hipster community and the good farm people that have died off or left are sure missed by me.
Yes the property value has gone up.But the moral values have dropped.
I can't wait to retire in my cabin off grid

creeky
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 11:07
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i'm wit you. the property two sections down sold after being up for over a year.

i was pulling out of the driveway when I saw a couple of vans pull in to the lane they have (undeveloped property, lane is being kind).

As I went by I stopped the truck, got out to say hi, a woman driving one of the vans leapt out, raced to get her kids behind her van.

"did you just pull out of that lane?" she demanded indicating my lane.

I'm like. "Yup. Welcome to the neighborhood."

She warmed up some as we talked but man that was weird.

FishHog
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 11:32
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Sad state isn't it. I think most social abilities are disappearing fast. You can text people, but to actually talk to them in person is a strange thing for many now a days.

Cowracer
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 12:21
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One wonders if they came from an area like an urban city, where the default mode is suspicion. Give them a chance to warm up to you...

Tim

toyota_mdt_tech
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 14:53
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Maybe carry some large flash cards with emoticon? Kind of like these...



Maybe the new hipster crowd can figure those out???

I'm great with people. Far from hipster, just cool nice guy and super easy to become great friends with, like I'm certain all in here based on our conversations over the years.

toyota_mdt_tech
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 14:54
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Quoting: Cowracer
One wonders if they came from an area like an urban city, where the default mode is suspicion. Give them a chance to warm up to you...



Agreed, they need to deprogram from that city mode and assimilate into country folk mode. It will happen.

Smawgunner
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 20:41
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That's the reason I bought where I did and why I get away as much as possible.i generally hate most people for just that reason. It's funny that I know and like my neighbors at the cabin better than my neighbors in the city. There are people across the street from me in the city that I don't even know, but I know those within 3 miles of me at the cabin!

Smawgunner
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 20:48
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Just to prove you're not crazy, just look at where people used to socialize (FRONT PORCH) to where they now socialize (DECKS). No one wants to have to talk to strangers.

Steve_S
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 22:28
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Yes indeedly people are getting quite anti-social and even somewhat paranoid and this is most visible with younger folks... A neighbour down the road has a good word for these folks "City-ots" and say it like "idiots". Part Timer's are the worst as they bring their baggage along but those that walk away from the cities and setup FT / permanent are far more open to a good neighbourly jawin session.

Salty Craig
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 22:52 - Edited by: Salty Craig
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Society has done a 180. Young people do their socializing on Facebook, Etc. The marina where I keep my sailboat used to have a waiting list for slips. Now it's half empty. 30 years ago if you wanted to socialize, you golfed or bought a sailboat or something of the likes. Then you went every weekend and "hung out" with your friends.

Now a days these couch tards sit around on the computer and have no fun in the wild frontier. I'm 35 and look like a kid at the marina. Most sailers are 60 plus. They love seein me and the wife and kids out havin fun. There's not a kid in site for mine to befriend.

Sad how culture has changed. When I was a teenager "pre cellphone" we all went to the drivethru to see what was happening. Cell phones were the death of the drivethru. Now it's a park. Stupid.... I miss the greasy burgers.

Oh another thing. I have no social media except this fantastic forum. Love all y'all. Sorta hard to camp and sail with my computer.

Salty Craig

Gary O
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 23:33 - Edited by: Gary O
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I think it's just the moral turpitude of today.
Began in the fifties, when folks could get what they wanted...on time, become more than you are...what you aren't, have affairs, divorce, remarry, generate weird family trees...still socialize but living a fašade.
Neighborhood barbeques becoming hushed gossip fests....

Then it all stopped

TV

Caller ID (DON'T ANSWER!!)

Closets became too small to hide all the skeletal remains of a smarmy past...and developing present.

Even reunions got all sticky and gooey.

Yeah, facebook, texting
Thumbs morphing into the most talented of the ten upper digits.

No more fašade
Don't have to have one
Stay inside



I really don't know what I'm talking about.

...just wanted to use the word 'turpitude'.....and 'smarmy'...two new additions to my vocabulary.

y'all are weird


...I'll be inside

great

now I'm hungry for a greasy burger

rmak
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 23:53
Reply 


Now that you mentioned it Gary, I hate turpitude too. I really wish they made real turpentine like in the old days.

Gary O
Member
# Posted: 15 Jun 2015 23:59
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...gittin' so there's nothing legal left to drink

Julie2Oregon
Member
# Posted: 16 Jun 2015 01:52
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Know the feeling, rmak, know the feeling! I'm not even THERE yet and some guy who lives in the subdivision was trying to scare me off! (See my building permits thread.)

The good news on that one, though, is that he couldn't help jumping into a conversation between a few of us who are moving to the subdivision, are excited about it and can't wait to meet up.

I don't know what this world is coming to. I was raised in a very hospitable family! You welcomed new people, strangers, you made sure people had a place to go for holiday meals and get-togethers, you invited people into your home and shared what you had, even if you could just offer a cup of coffee and sandwich or a cold drink and snack!

littlehouseontheprairie, your brisket story reminded me of my folks in the summertime! They'd always plan Memorial Day and Fourth of July picnics at our house and invite all of the neighbors! Haha, my dad would set up a bar in the garage, my mum would put out a big buffet on the back porch, and they'd line the driveway with long tables and chairs, covered with tablecloths. Everyone was welcome, and if the neighbors had an elderly parent or relative who would otherwise be alone, my mum would tell them to go and pick them up and bring them, too.

When my mum's rheumatoid arthritis got too bad to continue and I was grown and living/working out-of-state, these picnics ended because no one else would do them. So sad.

brooksm29
Member
# Posted: 17 Jun 2015 00:48
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I grew up in the country, outside small town America. You didnt always see and/or talk to your neighbors but if either of you were in need, they were always there. The borrowed egg for a recipe or help getting unstuck during the winter were commonplace.
Our parents and grandparents taught us how to be socially adept. I was a teen during the beginning of the end. The Nintendo generation. The generation where all of your time, money and energy was put into electronic devices/gaming. BUT... we were still told to "go outside" and "use your imagination". This is something that many of the 30 and under do not know. They have their noses stuffed in every electronic device imaginable.
Gone are the days when kids used to pay attention while driving along and carry on some type of conversation. The days when you got your drivers license and actually knew how to get somewhere without a GPS. They dont pay attention to you or anyone else.
Many do not know how to do basic daily things like...changing tires, checking oil, spark plugs, using a saw or any other common sense item that may arise in a day.
I unfortunately feel responsible for part of this and feel I may have done them a disservice. I have allowed them to ignore me when in the car, ask me how to get to grandmas (where they have gone for 16 yrs) and basically ignore normal human interaction. I may have made my kids socially inept.
The 21yr old and the 19 yr old may be goners. I hope to save the 16yr old, 13 yr old and the 8 yr old. That is if I can get them to put down their ph, tablet, laptop or game controller...lol

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